Millions of vapers can be found in the UK alone, and we all share quite a few things in common: excellent taste, a sense of justice, an aversion to cigarettes and an undeniable craving for e-juices and gadgets. Aside from these things, we are all very different people, although we still share a collective sense of humour. It is precisely for this collective comedy that I’ve decided to compile a list of the 5 different kinds of vapers you will come across. Chances are you’ll see a vapour you know, or even see yourself somewhere in the list. I certainly did.
The Old School Vaper
Our first kind of vaper has been vaping long before “box mod” came to prominence. They’ve been members of ECF ever since it was run on stone tablets, giving them all the knowledge to remember the good old days of vaping, back when you had to use tiny stick batteries as well as pre-filled cartridges. They’ve been vaping way back when “ohm” was just a term you would only stumble upon in college level chemistry classes or that random trip to a meditation session. This vaper knows precisely what they like, and they don’t want to change things up. You would surely want to have your ears ready when an old school vaper is around. They have plenty of fascinating stories to tell, and most of them made the switch to electronic cigarettes several years before you did, so they probably know what they are talking about. Much respect to the old school vaper. They totally deserve it.
The “My Clouds Are Bigger Than Your Clouds” Vaper
This is the kind of vaper you can readily identify upon seeing them. Or perhaps when you fail to see them as they are usually covered by a cloud of mist that can force the National Weather Advisory to issue a warning for heavy fog. As the VG goes up, the better it is for the cloud chaser. Have you ever wanted to see a person blow steam off of both nostrils that would put any dragon to shame? Have you ever wanted to see a person create smoke rings there are big enough to entangle an actual dragon? Then this is definitely your guy.
The Mod Collector
This vaper has a room in his house exclusively dedicated to all the things he needs in case of a Vapeocalypse. This special room can only be accessed by using the mod collectors fingerprint. If you’re lucky, he can take you in while you are blindfolded, as if you are in the Bat Cave. Upon entering, you’ll find shelves upon shelves of all the finest box mods in the world. Your eyes would be filled of mods of varying sizes, shapes and colors. The mod collector also has special powers: she can find the exact mod he is looking for just by smell. And just by touch, he can tell you every single detail about the mod including its maximum wattage and the coils that best match with it. In case you have a new box mod and plan to impress the mod collector, just give it up. He already has 5 of it.
The Artisanal Vaper
The artisanal vaper never buys e-juice from shops. As in never. This kind of vaper likes to do things DIY style. If the mod collector has a special room in his house, the artisanal vaper has a special kitchen, with cabinets filled with gallons upon gallons of PG, VG and flavours. Oh, all those delicious flavours! You may be sitting on the couch watching a football game and you suddenly wish aloud of getting to taste a glazed-doughnut-chocolate-chip-bacon-custard e-juice, and before you know it, he already has a 30ml vial of that exact flavour. Nobody can match his prowess when it comes to creating e-liquid.
The Super Advocate
When you visit this Simply’s Facebook page, you’ll find countless posts from SFATA or CASAA. If you ever need to know anything about the FDA, just ask the super advocate. They can also be seen roaming around wearing “A Billion Lives” full sleeve tattoo (mad props to Aaron Biebert for everything he does). The back of their Prius is littered by stickers saying, “Cigarettes are for sissies.” and “I vape, I vote.”